Holy Smokes, that Earthquake almost knocked over my soda..

Every time I see a helicopter…

The only thing cooler than having a flying pet dragon…

Wedding on Star Wars Day…. The wedding party is going to walk Single File. If we’re in the garden, where are the raiders? #tuscangarden

Pull through parking spots are like Mini Christmases.

My beard is acting like the trash bag outfit Bradley Cooper wore in Silver Linings Playbook.

I love LA.

I’ll take these nacho chips, this 12 pack of Pepsi, a bag of Ice, and…. What the hell, I’ll take that Piñata.

This picture isn’t from January. This is from today… And yes, that’s a Christmas Tree…

I’m so jealous of my nephews… #science #technology #portrait

I’m not going in that bar… It looks like a traaap. #starwars #joke #ironman

This is what my face looks like 10 minutes after just meeting BRUCE FUCKING WILLIS… #WelcomeToThePartyPal #Bruno

Did our fathers start saying….

Guy: “Dude, your beard is…..

If I ever wear Boat Shoes…